This past week has been a real struggle. For every step I thought I made forward, I found myself thrown ten steps back. By Saturday morning, I had hit rock bottom. My body was out of balance – my hearing was gone, theoretically as a by-product of the vog, but I suspect it had more to do with a week of hearing answers which didn’t help me and having no reasonable solutions in sight. My problem-solving and creative skills were gone and my sense of humor and positive outlook followed along right behind them. It was a mess and I realized I had to do something to stop the downward spiral. So I stopped – turned off the computer, closed the books, took a walk and then decided to take a drive to clear my head and perhaps, on the way, stop and buy one of my favorite gingerbread cookies. Hopping into the shower, I resolved that it would get better.
It didn’t take long. Walking out of the bedroom, I discovered a ginger cookie sitting on the kitchen counter left by a dear friend who just happened to be driving by the cafe early in the morning and all they had were ginger cookies which she knew I loved. Hope started to reemerge. Stopping at the used bookstore, I looked down and saw a dime. Finding coins has always held a special significance to me since my sister shared a story. It went something like this. A husband and wife were going out for an obligatory dinner with his boss, who was quite well off. As they were heading into the restaurant, the wife saw the boss pause for a minute and then bend down to pick up a penny. She was perplexed as he didn’t need the penny and finally asked him why he picked it up. He answered, “The penny has ‘In God We Trust’ written on it. Whenever I find a penny, I know that it is God sending me a message. When I saw the dime, I figured God was “amping” up the ante for me. I still have no clue what my next step forward is going to be but I’m going to trust that it’s the one I need to take. The day continued with small wins, I found a copy of Maya Angelou’s “Letters to my Daughter” to read, Target had a portable CD player so I could listen to my meditation CD outside; Safeway is now carrying Andy’s Bueno Salsa – a favorite of mine from Kailua Farmer’s Market on Oahu; dark chocolate Magnum ice cream bars were half price; and, best yet, I had a topic for my blog.
This week, should you find yourself in a downward spiral, stop. Take a break. Walk away. Breathe. Decide to change your perspective and see what happens. You’ll be amazed.